I Want, I Want, I Want

I want to live a better life
but don't know where to start
I want to eat healthier
but it's damn too expensive
I want to go to the gym today
but I'm sort of tired
maybe tomorrow
I want to change the world
but I have no tools
I want to see the world
but I have to work
I want just relax and reflect
but time is against me
I want to

But
there is alway a but

In Our Worlds

How fair is the world? How fair would you like it to be?
The world is not a fair place, that is a fact. But the world consist of different worlds that are not real but they are actual worlds in which one can see, feel, and touch. These worlds are individuals world. This means that within this world we each have our own world and thus should be called the perceived world.
The perceived world is a world that each make up according to what they have learned or seen, even heard. Even if two people were born raised and treated the same way for their whole life, they will still find themselves in different worlds.

Positive Turn

It seems every few moments someone close to me get a job, even after not being able to find a job for many years. Could it be that I am in positive state and having people who are also filled with positivity creates an even more giant pool of positivity that links more and more? They say when good things happen, it affect many but when bad things happen, it affects all.

Today is a good day and to all whom positivity has helped to open doors, I say congratulations and that I am happy for you. We sometimes need hard times to appreciate the little things that we have. Lets not forget that.

Angry man

It takes seconds for old anger to return and minutes to realize it was not needed. How could we learn to forget old anger?

Realizing that your anger came quick from nowhere is the first step, then taking a minute to analyze what just happened and how it could be better resolved. Then apologizing for the temper and remind yourself that you did not like your reaction. (mind you, I said apologize for your reaction, not for whatever made you mind as you may very well be correct to be upset)

Deprived of Color

You are deprived,


blank, you are blank,
and no one can figure you out,
who you are, what you are.


You are deprived of ethnicity,
no one can really see you,
I mean, they see you,
they just cannot really see you.


You are deprived of race, 
and they cannot find a word for you


you belong in no group, no race, no ethnicity
what you are? you are shaped like man,
but you are not man, are you? 
and so, you are subjected to rejection
blamed for no wrong doing,
you, unwillingly accept a word that offends you


you are a victim of prejudice, racism, 
you are deprived all things,
including color

Sound From The box

I am at a lost without you,

I am frail to the sound of nothing,

To know that I am here and you may not be,

To feel all this emotion that no one else can,

To feel gravity ripped from underneath my feet,

To fall into nothingness of space

You save me; you took me from my edge, my simplicity,

You place me onto earth, so that I can once again stand,

You took my soul, and squeezed out all the sorrow, all the pain,

So that I can once again be, me,

Not just be

You are the light of me, the tune that place me back, after I have broke,

You are the breaker of silence, the mover of nerves,

You are music, the link to my heart

The string that twangs, the drum that beats, the key that plays,

You are the sound from the box,

You are Sound From The Box,

You are music

Sound of Life

I am at a lost without you,
Life

I am frail to the sound of nothing,
And having silence is for many men, a dream,
But I fear silence; a thing birthed by death,
That stops, in my mind, the world still.

When all that is felt, becomes nothing,
But in the ghost palm, you have everything,
Everything is everything in the eye,
But everything becomes nothing in the ears,

You save me; you took me from my edge, my simplicity,
You place me onto earth, so that I can once again stand,
You took my soul, and squeezed out all the sorrow, all the pain,
So that I can once again be, me,
Not just be

You are the light of me, the tune that place me back, after I have broke,
You are the breaker of silence, the mover of nerves,
You are music, the link to my heart
The string that twangs, the drum that beats, the key that plays,
You are the sound from the box,

Memory Time

I walked into the store this morning (earlier than I used to) and the servant who usually remembers me and recites my usual barely recognize me today. Well he did recognize me but he was unable to think of what my usual was. I wonder if memory linked with time make things much easier. Memory is always to link patterns, but what happens when those patterns are disrupted? Can the mind be challenged by leaving many things the same and changing one little thing?

Just sort of thinking out loud! 

Under The Countless Rain

Numbers drop on my windshield and the hood,
They bit at my side windows and the back-window,
They knock on my doors,
And then slide until they hit the ground.
Sound at sleep,
She resembles an angel, not that I've seen one,
But the word depicts pure, beauty, and peace,
That, she is, 
Sitting up by my side with her head on her left shoulder.
I can barely see the people crossing,
The motors around me continues to shift shapes,
Until the wipers cleared the view.

The numbers that fall, well in the trillions, as far as I know, 

they don't fall to be counted, they fall just simply,
Tinkling the metal, like the beginning of a song
I turn to her but she was already looking at me, 

I don't know for how long, but she had been staring,
Her eyes, stock on me, as if she sees stars,
Like she was looking at something more than human...

The rain continued to fall, 
and while my hands held the shift, 

her hand rested on mine,
her cold, left hand, 

sent chill up my arm,

and a warmth feeling crept up my chest, 
and I felt heat on my chicks,
and all of a sudden, 
we were home.

Short-term Living

Sometimes is just easy to lie. It's just better not to deal with anything right now and so we do what is the most easy. We are where we are right now because we have let our lives be just that; what is easy right now. When will we learn that what is easy right now is sure to be a long term downfall? We serve no good by doing what is good for the short-term because what is good for the short-term is usually a huge damage in the long-term.

I believe everyday should be a challenge. Challenge for the mind, for the body, for the soul. A challenged life is a life worth living, an easy life is a life for those who dare not become better/ greater. Rich people live a easy life, hard people live a life worth living.

The little things to change the day

Today turned to be a weird day. Had my day planned but between the power outage at the office that left us freezing and the fatigue that took over me, my plans were quickly dissolved but revamped after that nap and ended a great night.

Nonsense

save everything
don't delete anything
pack it in an orderly fashion
everything that's your passion
don't forget to remember

and sometimes forget

Don't let time pass you by

The Red, The Brown, The Blond and The Dots

Pervious to my daily tasks

time and time again

I must have counted the color dots on  your face

so many times, I almost remember how many

Millions short of being colored

brown, some what blond, somewhat reddish

I could not decide, but you look good in all

At times I found myself unnerved

Simply by your presence

which is a present, this present, I most miss

the smile, short laughter,

Did I mention the smile,

that turn with her head but have her eyes linger,

for one millisecond more?

One millisecond that by now could have amount to one minute

and all of the complements

did you get my complements?

I think I have a crush

on you, I'm not sure

maybe it's something else

but numbers run long,

and knowledge is short of a distance

You and I

Water is falling from the sky

wind is blowing particles

people are losing ground

but today it's you and I

just you and I

If I learned anything

is that it's supposed to be

you and I

Waterfall in the winter

snow buries land

leaves die

and animals vanish

and while standing here

I know things are better

when it is you and I

Water covers land

a boy shakes his snow globe

and the ground cracks underneath

my feet

if I fall into the core

I am falling in your heart

and I won't mind

because It always going to be

you and I

Amounts

there are too many mirrors

in the world

I cannot find my

true self

 

if you look out the window

you'll see anything

and if you step out the door

you'll find anything

But stay in 

and find yourself

not amounting

to anything

Frames of The First

I was crushed

by my first crush

sex

quenched thirst

my soul

the need to be filled

the emptiness came

as her feet stepped past the door

poof, she disappears like magic

but left her faint distance perfume

How did I ever live without her

beautiful flower

that now holds a stench

I hate her in my belief

I need to enter her doors

and take, take, take

take back all that I gave

so that she can feel

the emptiness that no amount

of liquid or substance can fill

I need to enter her backdoor

and take as much as I gave

retract the complements

with no supplements

shake away anything she has on me

sting like a black and yellow bee

burn paper hearts

squeezes butterflies

out of her stomach

cease my beautiful mistake

from ever happening

Number, You Always Remember

Number is running from me
Sorry to see you go
It was short
but nice knowing you

I care little to make your acquaintance
I could not fight meeting you
Thinking you were no good
I thought it was best to keep distance
but once I met you,
things changed

I must say
you showed me a lot of things
you thought me more now
than all my other number friends

It is difficult,
but I know goodbye it must be
So long
new old friend
So long
I hope you teach everyone you meet
All that you have thought me
and show them
what you have showed me

So long

number friend

It is funny

It is funny feeling

going from blind

to seeing

I want to call it a miracle

but no one believes in them any more

It is funny

when I couldn't see,

the things I said I would do

if I just could see.

Now I find myself

already taking it for granted

It is funny

now that I could see,

I realize

I'm most blind

because my eyes lie

I am happy with just trying

It is funny

but really it is not

The Ways in the road

Lying from the bottom of my heart, Making the world see what I do not From where one comes, One must go To stay is to be unhappy So pack your bags And at the end of the road, Make a U-turn and come back Back to unhappiness where Now you can find happiness Find it all because on your way The road became clear And clear is what was needed to know this is true That I am true

Vino Rosso

Fluidly flows the red grapes, fluidly the red dress falls. Her shoulder becomes nude, the eye stills, and this moment forever to remember. The eyes blink, and light writing, the man, room full of light flashes. She will forever look like this. The bottle tips and red grapes fall fluidly into the wine glass, smoothly rolling down, dancing, content to be uncaged. Now they just want to pass, and let nature take their dead flesh, the course that some will try to deviate from, when they attempt to roll down the lips and run away.

Trying to slide away because they are so close the end, and then realization of fear, of death, is keeping them from suicide. The second strap falls from he shoulder and the man's imagination run to his pants as the top of her chest is bare but the silk remained above the breast. Showing little clivage, the light bounce off the walls, excited at the view they hold before disappearing into infinity, but not dead, but slowly dying. Many, no doubt made it out the window before looming off into space.

- Vino

To be Continued...

Find yours

Don’t discriminate because your soul mate could be any race, and so keep your mind open and your eyes shut, because you can’t trust what’s appealing to the eyes, but do have a little more trust to the mind, and less to the heart.

Don’t discriminate because your soul mate could be in any religion and all of them are true, but all of them are false. All of them have a meaning behind what they worship and all have a reason for worshiping what they worship. If you are closed to religion, you may be closed to your soul mate

If I Judge you, who will judge me?

YOU ARE THE FIRST TO SAY WHAT YOU COULD NEVER DO. WHAT YOU COULD NEVER DO, IS EVENING ANYONE CAN DO. EVERYONE WHO HAS ONCE KILLED, I BET NEVER THOUGHT THAT THEY COULD.

I see judges. Everyone judges, but dislike being judged. I see people who are so weak and small in the mind, think they are better than people. Nothing shames me more to see you do what I used to do. Everyone thinks that they are so good that they forget that there is such thing as better. Wake up world, this is the do it your damn self because no one will do it for you. Exercise your mind, your body, yourself. You are dying and you don’t know it. You are falling apart slowly, forgetting what you have learned. The things that you say you would never do, now you are at the other side of problem and all of a sudden it is not that easy. 

The color in people's eyes

...I was transformed by this new realization; I am black. When I look into peoples eyes, I did not see a black man, at least almost often. I always saw just a being equal to, or respected the same as the eye holder's respected peers.

Better, maybe tomorrow

No one can kill you more than you can kill yourself. As many people that can bring you down, is less than the many times you have brought down yourself. All the many man that you could have been, what are the chances that you are you if all could relive lives? Because I could be someone else, I love myself even more now. The time, the changes, the worries that I once never had, now dreaming of being a child just once more so that I could love it, each and every second. I know there are many that would trade, if they could, their childhood. If you do, you change everything about you. These are the moments when we realize that we can never be all we can be because with every level reached, there is more to be had. Just when you think it’s as worse as it could be, you realize that you can be even more sad.

Happiness: One of the two

You tell yourself that everything that happens is meant to be. You say it enough times that you start to believe it. Then after you start to believe, you start to doubt that it true and then you question if it were ever. When you are the mists of it all is when you realize that not of it really makes sense. How can two people find so much difficulties in finding happiness: Whether it is father and son, mother and daughter, brother and sister, friends and girlfriends, you always meet a mean when a decision must be made, where one will be unhappy? Our needs to satisfy others come between the need of our satisfaction. Are we bad people if we decide that our joy exceed theirs. After all, one of us is not going to be happy and so how do we know who to chose, us or them? Is it wise to make ourselves unhappy in order to satisfy others? If we do risk our felicity for someone else's, are we foolish, crazy, or kind? Why foolish, I ask? Well the fact that someone know that you are kind and risk your happiness for others to be happy means that you are asking to be taken advantage of. Why did I ask Crazy? Well, according to science, we are self-interest beings. We do nothing that we do not benefit from. Even if making someone else happy is a benefit for those who feel joy from seeing others happy. Lastly I say kind because our spirituality and/ or religion say that when we care for someone else’s joy over ours, we are kind people.

Which one do you find/ or hold is the truth?

Under The Streetlight

What could be the meaning of a dead streetlight coming alive right when I’m under it? This is not the first time it happens, not even the second time. This has happen plenty of times and I am beyond myself with questions. There was no way of getting the answer, so I decided to stand there until something happens. I stood under the cold clear night and watched the stars for about ten minutes, or maybe even twenty. The streetlight flicker here and there while I was underneath, but nothing came. Nothing happened, at least that my bear eyes noticed.

Self Worth

...Then you start to realize worth. But you do not know what it is to be worth something. In my experience, I felt worth when someone could not be thankful enough, or when I get an extra smile just for being me, or when cashier offer you extra food or drinks with no additional cost. Self worth is then seen by many almost as if you are sharing your worth with them; letting them know that your self worth is at a premium compared to most.

Realizing

The realization that you are human is the realization that you love, hate, miss, feel, smell, taste, need, and want. The realization of what you are is then what you become. If you do not realize what you are, how could you become so? Children, for an instance,  who have no sense of race are then just children. They are definitely aware of color difference as well as are able to distinguish difference in ethnicity, culture, attitude and such. Their lack of understanding for what these difference mean is what keep a bond between them.

FAIR GAME

I just saw "Fair game" starting Naomi Watts. This movie reminds me of the power the authority and government officials have over us. The saddest thing is that they turn citizens against you including friends and family. They leave families broken and drive individuals to their ends.

Government officials no doubt have been doing things like this for years, and thanks to The Bush Administration, we  see how far they will go to getting what they want and/ or protecting themselves. Bush Jr. as President is probably the best thing that happened to the US. Thanks to him, I hope, we know how to battle the Government when they commit crimes against innocent citizens. 


In the past few years, I have read information on the net, saw movies and documentaries that is aimed at The Bush Administration. All that shed some truth on G.W.B. Jr.'s two terms.

What we did was not right, and because of that, we have to worry about ours and our children's future. Asking questions is what we need to do. We did not do so in '01, we let our emotions take the best of us and that lead someone mothers, someone’s fathers, and someone’s child to their death. And none of them really knew what they were fighting for.

Falling

The steps on the ladder only spread further the further you go. When you miss a step is when you will know how it feels to fall. The fall is not the hardest thing, only the realization that you have fallen. The conscious knowledge of the fall is the most difficult thing someone can experience even after getting back up. Another realization is that someone notice you as your body lands on the ground...